there was a week I did not drink coffee and a week I decided I would drink coffee again.

I thought I would stop. I thought I would go out. I thought I would walk, breathe deeply, take in the sun. and apparently I want to sit here in this room, tense, hunched and staring into a cold light with my fingers moving and the rest of me too still.

I am not even working on something. and here I am. here I am.

before and after


it must all be considered as if spoken by a character in a novel

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